Dealing with failure

Sometimes, I want have to gain all the control over my life.

Sometimes, I realize that I can't.
And sometimes when I'm down. It's either I let myself down. Or someone else let me down...doesn't matter.
I just want to throw all the responsibility and all the control to others...
Others like god.

Suddenly, god exist to me.
That easily...

It's the process of externalizing the internality.
That makes sense though.
You probably don't want to internalize the bad stuff into you.

When I'm disappointed about something, my rationale goes like "maybe god got something better for me".

But when I want something, "I WANT THIS AND I"LL GET IT".
Did I consult with god whether he agrees or not?
No...

Then why on earth when I got the result of something I think comes from me...
I go like "you know what it's the plan from the man up there".

Isn't that just weird.
It's logically illogical.


Sometimes people have the self-protection system.
And I though mine was set very low...or in the inactive mode.
I thought I can't take failure that well.
I kinda prove to myself today that I actually pretty smart at taking failure.
I'm pretty smart. Smart enough to know that opportunity doesn't come to you. But as long as you stay active in life, your hope will never die off.

NEVER!

Diversify risk in your life

People are striving for perfection in society these days.
Being the person who makes the most salary on earth is not enough.
You need to make high salary, give money to charity, be the best lover, and stay attractive to your wife's friend at the same time.

I say "What the heck?". I said that a lot lately btw.

One mentioned to me about diversifying risk in lives.

You know the same basic idea. One thing crashes. Then you still have another hope waiting for you.
One more thing that you can rely on. Anotehr dream that you can still keep on dreaming.
And I've been thinking...trust me it's been in my head for more than a year already.
Thant's the reason that I used as an excuse to go on exchange program.
To diversify my interest...
To expose myself to more things....yeah right

But you know what I think I have another solution to this fear of failure....

Why not stop thinking so much about the ends?
Stop waiting and working toward only the ends!
And start living
Living with today. Then you will never regret. Enjoy every moment.
And you know what at the end you might have your goal and all that.
And if you didn't make it? So what? SO WHAT?
You already accomplish things through out your journey.

You didn't reach to the top? So what? You're still on the path.

And that's what you should be proud of. that's what you should be proud of. buddy